My not having toe surgery story

posted on FB originally

Here’s a VERY LONG funny/frustrating story to entertain you:

I saw a podiatrist last December for a minor ache in my big toe. It’s actually a cyst — no danger and not growing. But can be removed with surgery.

I agreed we’d go forward with surgery in January before tax season. The scheduler was annoyed and distracted and curt while i aas at the desk, but we seemed to have everything set and I paid and left.

In January, a new scheduler called. They were then telling me about more stuff to do like bloodwork before the surgery. And I couldn’t get it done before date we’d agreed on. I was like: wait, why wasnt i told all this before. They then mention the other scheduler had been fired, hadn’t been thorough. Even still there were a couple more calls, it’s all blurry now. But it got way too complicated for such a minor surgery… and I was annoyed and finally said let’s just put it off until May. And we can start fresh with COMPLETE instructions from them and full focus from me after tax season.

So then in March, I start getting these calls/emails about going to collections for an unpaid bill for podiatrist. WTF? I called 2x and finally got hold of them (it was an outside billing collections office, not the doctors office) and they said I owed for that December visit. I said no, I do not. I paid you in December with an Amex. They wanted me to prove it. And I said no. Not my problem that your office is so disorganized. You guys find my payment, I’ve given you the details.

I called the main office and said listen: I’ve spent WAAAAY too much time on multiple calls and incomplete info and confusing deadlines… and since I’m moving houses and the surgery is not urgent, I’ll just start fresh in Tampa. Take me off all your lists for calling back. I’m done.

So then the actual DOCTOR calls. And he’s apologetic. And said they’ve fixed their office issues. He confirmed that I HAD paid in December. I said that’s nice but again it is tax season now, and I’m moving. I’m gonna take care of this later in Tampa. Thank you for your time but I won’t be a patient going forward. He said he understood.

At this point I’ve done at least 6 long phone calls with these people, and my toe still aches occasionally.

So this week I get a text from Palms West Hospital about my upcoming surgery with a link to pay. I’m like *what the heck*, this is a scam.

Then I get another. And it really seems like a legit reminder. I ignore the text and call the hospital phone number directly and find out I’m scheduled for toe surgery this Friday. WTF?!

I tell the woman: no I am not. I never scheduled any such thing. I will not be there. I am no longer a patient if that doctor.

But then today, I got a voice mail again about my co-pay. And I’m like shit, they may charge me for this even if I won’t show. I called hospital billing and said NO i don’t owe money. I never authorized this, scheduled this, agreed to this. So she did what she could but said the doctors office has to cancel the surgery. I called the doctors office and was put on hold while they “looked into it”… and I was on hold 10 minutes. So I just called again and chose the option where I could leave a message.

Left a message where I told them my name, and firmly said I’d never agreed to any surgery and hadn’t authorized them to schedule a surgery. And I had quit being their patient months ago. And they’d better figure out their surgery schedule because I would NOT be there and would not be paying anything.

I’m writing this out to document all this. Because I only assume this shit could continue with these bozos!

PROBABLY some idiot, back in January, rescheduled me for May in surgery — which is NOT what I’d agreed to. But then later, I was taken off the office’s list as a patient. But they didn’t realize I was still on surgery list. Cause the doctors office certainly hasnt sent any surgery reminders, only the hospital.

Good lord. So much time on this.

And actually since I got new orthotics from my chiropractor, that toe didn’t even ache at all with all the walking in NYC, so probably didn’t need that surgery after all!

The end (we all hope)