Epiphany: When I was explaining to Hailey about how I hadn’t invited Peter to therapy yet, because he’s got all these other doctor appointments… it wasn’t about accommodating him. It’s about accommodating ME. I only have so much time and energy. It takes a lot of time and juggling to get his cardiac care moved — he’s got a stress test and a follow up in December… before that I have to make a dozen phone calls to get his old records.
And he’s possibly got hematomachrosis like Sean, — the follow up on his bloodwork is next week.
He’s supposed to do a follow up with a dermatologist but I just let that one slide. Cause it’s nothing critical.
His current glasses are bent and he’s dealing with them. He hasn’t asked for new glasses but I ought to get him new glasses — which is at least two appointments.
And he needs a dental cleaning.
And he’s doing weekly physical therapy for the car accident. He had an MRI just yesterday.
Good lord. Anyway, once the hematology appt is done and I’ve got the cardiac paperwork in hand… I can think about adding therapy.
I started this therapy without him so that I learn how to deal with his responses in a way that doesn’t stress me out as much. So I have perfectly good reasons for not jumping in right away with Peter.
Accommodating him and his therapy aversion is also about accommodating my energy since I’ll get the brunt of any emotional fall out.
I need to say all this to Hailey too. I like her but I think she’s made some assumptions. Yes, we accommodate Peter too much on emotional bullshit and we are working on that. Got some good tools today. But a lot is also for my own sake. And I’m a little resentful that she jumped right to assuming my objections were only about coddling Peter’s feelings.
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